WOW .. what a journey the last 7 months have been. Having started my journey thinking ‘how unprepared I was for being a mother’, going through the depths of depression thinking ‘how I was failing as a mother, starting the medication and feeling like just ‘possibly I could be an OK mother’… I have just finished my counselling.
For anyone that thinks that counselling isn’t a good idea, I would say, just try and see whether it may help you. What I quickly realised is, if there is anything that happens in your life, however small you might think the issue might be, a big life event such as birth- may just tip you over the edge.
I was relieved to realise that many of my issues we not actually about becoming a mum.
The issues that were all under the surface such as fear of failure, being a perfectionist, being able to control situations and always looking for the next challenge to feel worthwhile- just don’t mix with motherhood.
If I hadn’t sought help, then I can only imagine that being a mum would have felt like wading through mud (daily).
I was very lucky to live in an area where ‘steps2wellbeing’ is offered (http://www.steps2wellbeing.co.uk). Although Dorset based, I’m sure that each area offers a service whether this is through you GP or a similar mental health service.
I can honestly say that I went into the first session, I felt broken, out of control and had lost my identity. After only 5 sessions, I am looking at the world in a completely different way. Firstly I challenged my thoughts, I realise that I can make a decision, which means I worry less. I don’t have to be ‘mother of the year’ I just have to be a ‘good enough’ Mum. If I ever need to think about whether I should/shouldn’t be doing something, I just need weigh up whether its in the best interest of my daughter, my husband or myself and not feel guilty about whether I do or don’t do something!
I have come out the other side valuing myself….
So for anyone that feels they may be struggling with an aspect of their life, even if it has nothing to do with being a mum (or a dad…) I would say, speak to your GP, Health Visitor, refer yourself.. anything.. just don’t struggle alone.
When you are open and ready to address any issues, you may feel that you find a new lease of life.
I know that this is just the beginning of my wellness journey, I have been given the foundations to address any future issues, but this is an investment for life. I will never be at the top of the ladder, but its going to be a much easier climb knowing that I have the skills to challenge my previous thought processes!